be healthy

I used to pride myself on being a self-composed, confident man whom it took a lot to fluster. I have never been ashamed to display my emotions, but I never allowed them to overwhelm me – my logical, analytical mind ensured that. Even when my parents passed away, I bore my grief privately and stoically. Blubbering was for the weak willed; and I was not weak – or so I deluded myself.

Eight days ago, around midnight, I suddenly woke up to find my wife, Abby, moaning softly in her sleep. I wasn’t too worried at first; she’s done that before – but this went on for quite a while. Finally, grumbling to myself, I got out of bed and turned on the light. What I saw next will be forever and horribly imprinted on my brain. Abby was curled up in the fetal position; her arms rigid and her fists clenched. Most frightening of all, there was blood on her pillow. I tapped her cheek, lightly at first, and then slapped her real hard. But she wouldn’t wake up – and she wouldn’t open her mouth. All my vaunted self confidence and logic deserted me at that moment. I have never before experienced such a feeling of helplessness and impotence in my entire life. For a few minutes, all I could think of was to rock her in my arms and pray like I never prayed before. Finally, a modicum of logical thought reasserted itself; and I realized I had to call an ambulance and get her to a hospital fast.

Fortunately, she revived in the ambulance, but I could tell she was completely out of it. Eating anything was out of the question, so she was put on a continuous saline drip. The next morning, she was able to sit up in bed, but the scare was far from over. It became apparent that she was having short term memory lapses. Terrifying – and totally illogical – thoughts of Alzheimer’s raced through my mind. The analytical brain I prided myself on seemed to have gone on vacation. That evening, Abby slept for 14 hours straight; and when she woke up next morning, she had no idea where she was; and no recollection of being taken to the hospital. The neurologist examined her and ordered an MRI and an EEG. The MRI was normal, but the EEG showed some chemical imbalance in her brain. I brought her home two days ago and, thankfully, her memory seems to be normal again.

And what triggered off this nightmare? One simple antibiotic our doctor had prescribed for her cold and fever. Later tests showed that the sodium levels in her body were very low; and the doctor said this was the main cause, but the antibiotic acted as a catalyst. Now Abby is going through the ‘if only I hadn’t taken the pill’ stage. My logical mind tells me that there was no way we could have foreseen this calamity but, at some deep emotional level, I find myself agreeing with her.

Now that Abby seems to be on the mend – and my brain is more or less functioning normally again – I am trying to analyze my thought processes; and my gut reactions. Do emotions completely take over one’s brain in times of crisis and mental anguish? Is it some primeval instinct we have no control over? Can a highly intelligent human being be so easily reduced to an impotent, blubbering wreck at the sight of a loved one in distress? I haven’t come up with any answers yet.

The other fallout of this awful incident is spiritual; and I am faring slightly better at this. I am not a regular churchgoer by any means, but I believe I have a pretty good communion with God. I also believe that one’s relationship with God is a two way street. I secretly deride those who remember their Maker only in times of trouble; and I have never fallen into that trap. I pray every day; in good times and bad. So naturally, my gut reaction when this happened was to rail at Him and ask why He was doing this. It was only after I calmed down that I realized He was still watching over us.

For example, I am a very sound sleeper and, normally, Abby’s soft moaning would not have woken me but, this time it did. I shudder to think what would have happened, had I not discovered her unconscious state till the morning. It still makes me break out in a cold sweat. Then again, although the offending pill was the immediate culprit, in a way, it served a purpose too. If it had not been for this episode, Abby’s sodium levels would not have diagnosed and they would have continued to drop – possibly resulting in more brain damage. Realizing this does not in any way lessen my trauma, but it does bring me a measure of peace.

I would like to end with a note of caution to all those health freaks out there. The direct cause of Abby’s illness is that she deliberately avoided eating salt; because the health magazines said it was not good for you. This was compounded by her not eating eggs or butter, because the pundits declared it would raise cholesterol levels. She was constantly on my case for all the junk food I enjoy – and I guess that is not going to stop. However, if she had stuck to a normal diet, she would have probably been spared all the scare and aggravation. The moral of this tale is that there are no universal health statistics that apply uniformly to everybody. Every individual has his or her own bodily needs; and it is safer to rely on one’s common sense than on what the ‘experts’ tell you.

Labels: Self Explore