be healthy

Teenagers really want guidance from their parents about sex and sexuality. Sex education gives kids fantastic knowledge, but it doesn't necessarily help them when it comes to their own personal decision-making about whether or not to have sex. That's where parents come in...



Why don't parents talk with their kids about sex more often?
Most parents are just not comfortable with it, even now. The parents are made aware that there's going to be a sex education class in their kid's school, and some schools require the parents to sign a permission slip for their kids to participate in the class...but there's no concerted effort to help the parents teach their kids about sex and sexuality.



Do parents generally know what kind of sexual behavior their kids are involved in?
Most of the time it turns out that parents already suspect if their kids are sexually active. Parents notice things. They notice stains on underwear, for example. But a lot of parents don't know how to raise the subject. The best time to talk about when it's right to have sex, I think, is when a child is in the early teen years. Pre-teens think sex is yucky. Some kids start having sex in their mid-teen years. If parents haven't given their children guidance by then, it may be too late to impact behavior.

Personally, I think parents need to send two clear messages to their kids. First, they need to tell them when, in their opinion, it's appropriate for a young person to have sex. Second, if their teenager does decide to have sex, I think it's vital that parents express how important it is to protect themselves, and their partners, from pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and emotional hurt.

But some parents are just very uncomfortable talking with their kids about sexuality. I had a mother bring her daughter in for a physical exam. As I was going into the room to see her daughter she handed me a note that said, "Please get Mary on the pill."



Can you predict which parents will have a tough time talking about sex with their kids?
I think that parents' communication with their kids about sexuality to a considerable extent reflects their larger relationship with their kids.

The parents who are okay talking with their kids about sex are also going to be okay talking with their kids about other tough topics. It may be, for example, how to manage a fight with a friend at school, or how to get along with a difficult teacher. It goes back to the principle of open communication.



What about parents who are very categorical about what is right and wrong? Does this sort of approach work with teenagers when talking about sex?
Parents sometimes have very clear views of what's right and what's wrong. And when that is expressed to the kids, it can actually be very helpful to them. They want to have guidance and they want to have standards and they want someone to tell them, "I think this is right. I think this is wrong."

But I think it's important to explain the rationale so that the adolescent can then think it through on his own and decide, "Yeah, you know, that makes sense to me," or, "No, it doesn't."



So acknowledging that the teenager has a valid opinion is important
Absolutely. One of the most important things parents can do is to ask their kids their opinions about things and to listen to them. Teenagers are deciding what right and wrong is, and they're testing things a little bit. They'll think over their parents' ideas, and in most cases, they actually accept their parents' standards of what's right and what's wrong, but they have to have the right to make those decisions.

That's why parenting an adolescent is so tricky, because a lot of parents don't realize that for the adolescent to grow up in a healthy manner, their relationship with their adolescent has to change. By the time that child turns 21, the relationship should be closer to that of an adult than a child. The beginning of that gradual separation is adolescence.


If parents don't know what their teenagers are doing, and aren't willing to talk with them, how can they make sure that they're getting good information about sex?
I recommend that the parent go to the library or to the health section in their favorite bookstore and look at a few of the books that are designed to teach teenagers about their bodies. There are some really great ones out there. Some are just about sex, and some are about your changing body, which is the approach I choose to take, because changes in your sex organs are only part of what happens in puberty.

Then parents can just leave the books around the house. Or point them out to the kid and say, "Here, I've got these books for you. You might want to look at them sometime." And then sometime, if the parent wants to, they can say, "Well, did you get a chance to look at those books, and did it tell you anything new?" or, "What are you learning in school?" Parents can do that even without the books. They can simply ask their kids what they have been taught at school about sex or whatever the parent is concerned about.



Then good communication also depends on time spent with the kids?
Yes, and one of my big concerns, both for my kids and for the generation of kids who are growing up now, is the issue of latchkey kids. It's definitely the after-school hours when kids who are unsupervised are likely to, quote, "get into trouble." Statistically, those after school hours are when a lot of the teen risk behavior takes place. So I would urge parents to find organized after school activities for their children to be involved with if they themselves can't be on hand.



What does a teenager need from a parent after school?
Availability. And that doesn't mean playing with them or even necessarily doing things with them. It means being there, providing supervision, and being available, both physically and emotionally. If I'm home when my daughter gets home at 4:15, she generally doesn't feel like talking. But she's always happy to have me make a snack! She knows I'm there, and that she can come up to me and ask me a question, or talk about her day, or whatever it may be.

And I think that parental availability is probably a big issue for parents right now.



Do you think parents are often too distracted by work when they're home?
Well I've noticed in myself how much emotional energy I use up at work. The time you spend when you're washing dishes worrying about how to prepare for tomorrow's meeting or what happened at today's meeting -- that eats up a lot of your emotional availability at home. So when you're home, you're not really home.



So do you have any practical advice for those parents who would like to talk more openly with their kids?
Well, another mother shared a bit of common wisdom with me years ago. She told me that time in the car with your kids is time well spent. And I've got to say, it works for me and my kids. Teenagers talk much more easily about things when they're in the car with you, because they're not looking at you face to face. Or when you're hanging out with them somewhere away from home, somehow it's not as intense. It takes a little bit of the pressure off.

Every now and then something comes across my desk that really cracks me up. The curse of having an analytical mind usually jolts me out of my reverie, however.

It is like having a good angel on one shoulder and a bad devil on the other shoulder. The devil says, “Hey doc, this is funny as hell!” The good angel says, “Now David, think of all the people out there who are actually suffering because of something like this.”

Still, I had to laugh. One of my female anti-aging patients brought in a newsletter that her husband had actually PAID for by a so-called men’s health expert.

This lady’s husband was afflicted with ED (erectile dysfunction), and was feeling pretty inadequate.

He did not want to try prescription remedies that are out there and was trying to use natural remedies to solve his problem.

Even though he was not my patient, she asked if I would look at the newsletter because her husband had been trying to do all the things that the doctor in the newsletter had recommended and it was driving her CRAZY!

When I opened the newsletter and read the advice that was being given, I soon learned why.

First, the title was something like, and I paraphrase, “Reclaim Your Manliness – Hypermagic Sex Tricks To Make You A Lion in Bed Even If You Are Over 100 Years Old!” Her husband had taken the time to highlight the words, sometimes with two different colors, and then underlined them also.

This wasn’t the funny part though. What was funny was the “expert advice” that was being given out.

There was the usual Testosterone is King info running through the paragraphs. I certainly cannot fault this since I use plenty of testosterone in my anti-aging clinic.

But then came the herbal advice, and finally, the natural food advice.

Chocolate, oysters, and strawberries.

It seems like this guy was living on a diet that consisted mainly of these three things. Worse, he was trying to get his wife to eat all this too.

Now she was fine with the chocolate except for the fat and the calories, she was okay with the strawberries too except he was eating quarts of them. In this part of the country that many strawberries costs big bucks.

But the oysters! Raw, canned, smoked. Their whole house and his breath were beginning to smell like oysters, which she absolutely hated.

She started calling him “oyster breath,” which really helped his erectile dysfunction!

I told her be glad the doctor in the newsletter was not recommending “rocky mountain oysters” (Bull testicles)!

See, this poor guy had read in the newsletter that zinc was the key to studliness, and you should eat lots of food with zinc in them. The doctor recommended oysters saying that six oysters had as much zinc as three ounces of steak.

Now our patient was a porterhouse fan and he usually ate the 16-ounce variety at his local steakhouse. He thought that three 16-ounce porterhouses might contain too much fat so he did the less, and starting eating about 100 oysters a day! He chased the oysters with six pieces of chocolate, usually Godiva™ and a quart of strawberries.

The devil popped up on my shoulder again and said, “Hey, doc, this could be the next big diet craze. Ask if he is losing weight.”

The answer was no.

Oh, well! So what about zinc?

If you read the popular Sexual Enhancement literature, you see that zinc is mentioned over and over again as a fertility enhancer. It is clear that zinc is needed for the generation of sperm (spermatogenesis).

Zinc is actually needed for at least 50 different processes in the body, but there is only one study where it showed that zinc increases testosterone.

Here is a mini lesson in critical thinking. The study was done almost 25 years ago in about a dozen people. It did show marked increases in fertility and testosterone.

The key is that this study was done in India. But not just India; a land locked part of India. Now zinc deficiency is most common in grain-eating populations.

That is populations that do not eat anything but grain as a major source of their calories. Guess what they eat in this part of India? (Remember, cows are sacred to a large number of people in India.) Well, not meat and certainly not strawberries and oysters either!

Please understand I am in no way putting down India and I am not trying to be funny here, but what do you think the chances are that these infertile Indians were eating mostly grain and were probably malnourished?

How about 100 percent?

So, yes, feed them well and give them zinc and, yes, their sex drive and fertility may improve. By the way, this study was never again repeated and zinc was never again proven to cause a rise in testosterone in any type of non-malnourished people on what we would consider a Western diet.

Sorry zinc fans. This is one place where zinc does not solve the problem, at least not for most Americans.

Okay, now for the part that is relevant to us in Western countries. Full blown zinc deficiency is extremely rare. I have only seen it in burn patients who were taking intravenous fluid feedings or tube feedings for an extended period of time. (Somehow, I doubt the guy who wrote the newsletter that this gentleman was following has ever seen zinc deficiency.)

I remember one poor fellow who was given tube feedings for four months while he recuperated from terrible burns. When he did recover, he started to lose his hair at about three months and get acne. His skin became very fragile, and even in the unburned areas, it seemed to stop healing.

We diagnosed his insufficiency after a series of blood tests and when he got zinc back in his diet, his skin and hair problems stopped.

While relative zinc deficiency may be more common than that, most skin and hair loss problems are not caused by zinc deficiency.

Again, zinc does play a key role in spermatogenesis, or the development of sperm.

Our friend’s newsletter also cited an article where elderly men were given zinc and their sperm count went up.

True, but so what. This is an example of what I call pseudoscience and it is often seen in the advertisement for supplements that supposedly raise human growth hormone. These ads usually start out by telling you about the wonders of Human Growth Hormone. They go on and on about what are actually true benefits of HGH. Then they casually weave in their compound which usually consists of the same tired recycled amino acids combinations that have been selling for years.

Most never dare to actually come out and say their stuff does anything to YOUR growth hormone however, because that would be a lie.


It is basically a case of true, true, but unrelated. True HGH has amazing powers to turn back the clock. True it would be great if a pill that did the same thing existed but their compound doesn’t so it's unrelated. True, zinc is a viable mineral. True, zinc is required for the generation of sperm. But it is not really clear that it does anything to raise testosterone levels or sex drive, as I pointed out above.

So to push zinc as a stay harder have better sex for men and women over 40 supplement is, in my opinion, misleading. It is basically a therapy for infertility, which is a very different problem; in other words, unrelated.

Now, I have male patients who make zero sperm and still have great sex and great sex drive.

So, in summary, zinc is needed for good sperm production, but not really necessary for good actions or good sexual stamina. In other words, true, true and unrelated.

Now on to the supplements. It turned out that this man was taking three times the amount of supplements that he should have. He was taking Androstenedione several hundred milligrams a day and four capsules of something called Tribulus Terristris. Andrew worked for a short period of time to push up his testosterone levels, but after a few weeks, it causes a rise in the potential, harmful DHT (Dihoxydrotesterone) and estrogen. The result is that our friend’s breasts were beginning to enlarge and his sex drive was dropping even more.

Ouch!

I could go on and on here, but a few months later when this gentleman finally did decide to come see me and get help, we did zinc levels on him and they were 2-1/2 times normal. This probably caused the worsening of his sex drive and decreasing his sperm and testosterone levels, which on blood test, were still on the lower end of normal for his age. His estrogen and DHT levels were both well above normal for a man and were, no doubt, causing some feminization here.

This man was not a vegetarian, so I told him to cut back on the oysters and chocolate and eat a little more red meat and supplement with Carnitene (as in Regenerizer). Then he would get plenty of zinc naturally. We followed up his zinc level later after eating this regular diet, and it was perfectly normal. At this point in time, he actually showed up for his physical examination. Only through the examination, I found a small lump in his left testicle, which turned out to be a testicular cancer. This was the real reason why he did not want to come see me and wanted to handle his medical problem by himself – with the held of the newsletter guru.

The patient went on to have surgery. The cancerous testicle was removed and there were no metastasis. We stopped all his excess zinc at this point in time and left him on the strawberries and Tribulus. He is also now taking Pharmaceutical Grade Fish Oil for its many health benefits, including improving his testosterone levels by lowering the conversion to DHT. He is also on low dose human growth hormone (HGH), which has been shown to boost sperm and libido when all else fails.

Finally, he is on Regenerizer, which is helping his sex drive and his spermatogenesis.

Now what about all these supplements and cancer? Well, let’s take a look at DHEA first. Remember, Regenerizer has low dose DHEA, which is a testosterone precursor, but does not drive up estrogen/DHT levels the way Androstenedione does.

Additionally, DHEA has been shown in studies to have many other benefits, including immune system improvements, improved sugar control, improved sex drive and in several studies, a cancer fighting effect.

What about human growth hormone and cancer? Well, try as they might, the anti-aging people still cannot find causal link to cancer with human growth hormone, DHEA or testosterone for that matter. Still, one world famous health guru who looks like a fat version of Hypocrites (a real picture of health, this guy) was heard to say on National TV recently that human growth hormone is linked to some cancers. Once again, this has never been proven over the 15 years that it has been studied.

So, what are the morals of this story? Here is Dr Dave’s list of 10 not-so-silly tips

1) Be careful who you listen to
2) Use your supplements wisely
3) Use supplements that actually work
4) Do not expect normal amounts of food to have vitamin like effects in all cases
5) Expect to get oyster breath and possibly toxins from eating large amounts of oysters
6) Too much of a good thing IS too much
7) Have all lumps or bumps checked by your doctor. If they grow or change have them checked again
8) Consult a knowledgeable doctor about supplements and don’t expect every doctor to know about them
9) Use only the highest grade supplements
10) Some problems require more than food to fix

So, what do you really need to be a stud or studette?

Well, first and foremost, you need energy – that is right, energy and lots of it. Sexual acts, male or female orgasm, and spermatogenesis are highly energetic acts. That is, of course, unless you believe in the old joke which goes like this: Doctor to patient, “Are you sexually active?” Patient to doctor, “No, I just lie there.”

Those of you who read the Regenerizer copy noted the testimonial from a Philadelphia based attorney named Dean Andrews:



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How I Saved My Relationship With REGENERIZER

"There is something I just have to share with you Dr Dave.

"When I stepped off the plane I was exhausted. A 3-day high stress emotionally charged Blitzkreig of a business meeting had left me limp as a wet dish rag. The flight home had been miserable from the moment we took off. Overbooked, overcrowded, under air conditioned and full of hot sweaty tense angry people.

The ride was rough and choppy for the whole bloody way home. Worse I hadn't had a free moment to call my honey for the 3 days because of the total obligation to the meeting, I had to be present from sun up to late night, no breaks. It felt like I was in prison.

"I knew she would miss me dearly and be sad and upset by the lack of attention and communication. I knew that the only way to mend the problem was to spend some quality loving time with her AS SOON AS I GOT HOME! But, my tank was absolutely on E. I worried I might fall asleep at the wheel on the ride home. Fortunately, your product was rolling around in my pocket.

"I said a silent prayer of thanks, and popped 2 packets full of those babies. By the time I got my bags and got to the car I could feel the energy coursing through my bloodstream. Without getting too explicit, when I got home I gave my sweetie a wild passionate sex filled night to remember.

"THANKS DR DAVE, FOR SAVING MY RELATIONSHIP!

Sincerely,"

Dean Andrews
Philadelphia, PA

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The reason Regenerizer was so helpful to him was because it supported his sex drive and gave him the energy to perform when he needed it most and had it the least.

Carnitene and Co Q go together in specific doses in Regenerizer are intimately involved in sexual energy generation, as well as total body energy. This is because any active tissue needs a lot of power to generate energy. Especially cells that move (sperm) contract (penis and vagina) and secrete (prostate, testes and vagina) and engorge (penis and clitoris).

In truth, both CoQ and Carnitene lead to increased cellular energy and spermatogenesis, as well as improved orgasmic response. This is true in populations whether they be far eastern and grain fed or beef-fed Americans.

These studies are real and have been repeated multiple times, unlike the study with zinc and testosterone.

DHEA is well known as a sexual stimulator because of its generation of increased testosterone levels.

But there is another thing that few people realize, it has an almost thyroid effect on metabolism in all cells in the body. That is, it gives you a real boost.

Those of you who use Viagra, try this experiment. About one hour before sex, take two packs of Regenerizer. If both people involved do it, it works even better. You will find that you really do not need Viagra™, Cialis™, or Levitra™ at all. But if you want to enhance the effect of these drugs even further, then yes, you can safely use Regenerizer at the same time as you use these drugs, if you feel you must.

That is the beautiful thing about all my supplements. They genuinely enhance drug effects without any side effects. So as far as the above drugs are mentioned, why not just avoid the headache, blue vision and stomach upset and nasal stuffiness? Also, remember that unlike Viagra, et al, Regenerizer is great for women too. So, remember, Regenerizer is a true sexual tool and a real, all-natural, safe energy booster.

Well, that is it for now, folks. I hope you enjoyed, “Silly Sex Tips Revealed” as much as I have.

I wanted to share an experience with you that I just had in my doctor's office. Understand that I am not blaming you or all doctors but this kind of stuff keeps happening to me. I asked my HMO doctor about DHEA and fat loss because I have a couple of pounds to lose. I took your information into the office to show her and you'd think I had leprosy. She barely even looked at it, told me that DHEA was dangerous and about to be banned, and if I wanted to use that stuff I should come see you and stop wasting the real doctors' time! I was completely flabbergasted. Anyway enough about her. Is DHEA safe?

Carol Silton, Wichita Kansas



Well Carol, Doctors are getting like that because they have forgotten what their primary job is!

Public Service!

Boy does that raise the ire of my colleagues when I remind them of that!

A typical answer is, "I didn't go through 4 years of college, 4 years of Med School, 4 years of Residency and $ 100,000 in debt to listen to this!"

Actually, yes you did, but no one told you that!

In defense of my fellow docs I will say that the current Malpractice and Insurance Company debacle has accelerated the absolute anger and displeasure most doctors feel at what has become of our profession.

Believe me I have resisted this as much as possible, but at some point I predict the whole thing is going to rupture.

Anyway I have a Philosophical problem with a system that is entirely based on "Sick Care" not "Health Care".

More on that later.

Now onto the Question about DHEA!

Some things just keep coming up roses.

DHEA or dehyroandrostenedione as some folks know It is one of those things.

Recently DHEA escaped the Congressional witch hunt on supplements and lived to fight another day at least for the moment.

Believe me some Congressmen and most FDA higher ups would love to nail this elusive little molecule to the wall and bottle it up for good.

Problem for them is they couldn't find anything unsafe about it! Nonetheless they will keep trying.

Save the general public from the evils of a "steroid". Clean it off the shelves of Health Food stores and deliver it into the hands of a Medical Profession that doesn't have a clue how to use it!

AS usual they have it bass ackwards.

Giving a drug to a doctor who doesn't know about it, doesn't care about it and doesn't have the time or the inclination to learn because some stupid insurance company is breathing down his/her neck is about the level of Intelligence I would expect from the FDA and certain branches of the Government!

It appears that in a moment of uncharacteristic rationality and common sense, Congress and the FDA are currently allowing DHEA to stay on the open market and allow consumers to make a choice.

I can't promise you this will always be the case!

AS the rules currently allow, DHEA is one of the key ingredients in Regenerizer, along with CoQ 10, L Carnitene, and malic acid.

AS far as energy goes, I liken DHEA's effect to thyroid hormone. It seems to improve moving fuel into the cell and increase the cell's respiration (energy output).

A six month study of DHEA in both men and women(Clin Endocrinology 1998 49(4) :421-32 Showed increases in circulating sex steroids, IGF-1 ( growth hormone) levels and a decrease in the ratio of Cortisol to sex steroids.


Yep you read right, less cortisol effect! And you all know from the TV commercials about that product that is currently being slammed by the FTC and the FDA for false claims, that cortisol is a big problem in weight management!

This resulted in increase muscle mass and decreased body fat.

Hum... lets see anyone out there want to get stronger and leaner?

Personally I am always looking for new ways to do that.

Those of you who remember the Fish Oil Fat loss program form May of this year also remember the key role Regenerizer plays in boosting Fish Oil's Fat burning Effect.

What are some of the signs/symptoms of low sex steroids and Growth hormone levels.

1) Lack of interest or ability to have sex! That one is particularly good for relationships! Without delving into religion I feel that a healthy sex life is a must for a healthy marriage. The huge divorce rate tells me AMONG OTHER THINGS (please reread that before you email me!) people are not paying attention to their partner's sexual needs.

2) Increase body fat. Let's tie that to # 1. A study in subjective attractiveness shoed that both men and women would prefer leaner partners to obese ones almost 10 to 1. Ouch!!! A similar study showed that people rated subjects who were 20lbs or more overweight as much as 10 years older than their actual age. Double Ouch!! How will that affect the response of the opposite sex? How about a job interview. Are employers looking for old tired looking people? Not a chance.

3) Easy fatigueability. IF you are 35 and feel 65 this one is for you!

4) Increase in wrinkles and skin aging. Even the Perricone prescription won't help low hormones much.

5) Lack of strength. If I have to tell you why this is a survival issue, then you should not be reading this. Strong men and strong women can do more, be more, and tolerate more that weak ones. I think they also set a better example for their kids.

6) Lots of work in the gym and little to show for it. If this has ever happened to you, then you know that it can be one of the most frustrating things in the world. All that time and energy and you still basically look the same. The muscles grow, a little, you lose weight, a little, but the real transformations that everyone promises you never seem to happen.

And they never will if your hormones are not balanced right.

Regenerizer represents several years of research and study on my part. Since it attacks a very common problem I see low energy, it turns out to be useful in many different life enhancing situations... boardroom , bedroom, weight room and of course overall anti-aging.

Learning how to replace these ingredients is crucial for healthy cooking. Too often, attempts at improving our diet fail not for any lack of enthusiasm, but because we have been missing one link in the chain: the ability to make whole foods taste good. There are many ways to use whole grains, vegetables, unrefined oils, and lower-fat meat and dairy products so that they are palatable to everyone.

Many of the ways we learned to prepare food are no longer acceptable. Frying is out. It creates highly toxic products that destroy the body. Using sugar and white flour is frowned upon because of the stress these foods place on the body. We get enough salt in our food and do not need to add more. We need, therefore, to look at food preparation in a new way that exploits the natural flavors of food and maximizes their nutritional value. Once you understand and adopt a few simple principles, you will have all you need to begin preparing your food in 'the healthiest way possible.

We need a new cuisine. The great cuisines of the world grew up for the most part with little interest in health. When you step into the kitchen to combine your newfound health promoting foods such as whole grains, flaxseed oil, other unrefined oils, expensive organic vegetables, and lower-fat cuts of meat, you are going up against thousands of years of recipe development that have accentuated the tastes of fat, sugar, and white flour.

As if the possibility of contracting AIDS or hepatitis from a dirty needle wasn't bad enough, two chemists have just completed a study that found carcinogenic chemicals are being used as tattoo pigments. Researchers Ronald Petruso and Jani Ingram presented their findings at an American Chemical Society meeting in Atlanta, urging for more regulation in the tattoo industry, particularly in light of the increasing popularity of body art.

"It's not federally regulated and you don't need a license in order to practice. But it should be because since these pigments are going under the skin, they're being used as drugs," Petruso said. "The number of people with tattoos is growing and still we don't see much aired in the media about possible dangers outside of AIDS and hepatitis."

Visiting several parlors, the researchers found lead in some tattoo pigments, but more worryingly was the discovery of carcinogenic substances in a common tattoo pigment. Tracing the pigment back, the researchers identified the chemical plant where it was manufactured. "When we told [the manufacturer] about our findings they were very concerned because this is not what they design their products for. The pigments they make are used by auto manufactures for making paint," Petruso said. "The real implication of this finding is that some tattoo pigments are being exchanged under the table. [The manufacturer] said that if they found out the source of who's misusing their products, they would go after them and sue them."

The real danger, according to the researchers, is that since tattoos are not federally regulated, no one even considers the possibility that these pigments might be dangerous. "There are so many tattoo parlors out there that you don't have any idea where they're buying their supplies. People come in knowing about hepatitis and AIDS, and tattoo artists are careful about ensuring that the needles are sterile. But they don't expect to see [dangerous] chemicals present in those pigments, and that's the situation that needs to be addressed," Petruso concluded.

Source: American Chemical Society

I used to pride myself on being a self-composed, confident man whom it took a lot to fluster. I have never been ashamed to display my emotions, but I never allowed them to overwhelm me – my logical, analytical mind ensured that. Even when my parents passed away, I bore my grief privately and stoically. Blubbering was for the weak willed; and I was not weak – or so I deluded myself.

Eight days ago, around midnight, I suddenly woke up to find my wife, Abby, moaning softly in her sleep. I wasn’t too worried at first; she’s done that before – but this went on for quite a while. Finally, grumbling to myself, I got out of bed and turned on the light. What I saw next will be forever and horribly imprinted on my brain. Abby was curled up in the fetal position; her arms rigid and her fists clenched. Most frightening of all, there was blood on her pillow. I tapped her cheek, lightly at first, and then slapped her real hard. But she wouldn’t wake up – and she wouldn’t open her mouth. All my vaunted self confidence and logic deserted me at that moment. I have never before experienced such a feeling of helplessness and impotence in my entire life. For a few minutes, all I could think of was to rock her in my arms and pray like I never prayed before. Finally, a modicum of logical thought reasserted itself; and I realized I had to call an ambulance and get her to a hospital fast.

Fortunately, she revived in the ambulance, but I could tell she was completely out of it. Eating anything was out of the question, so she was put on a continuous saline drip. The next morning, she was able to sit up in bed, but the scare was far from over. It became apparent that she was having short term memory lapses. Terrifying – and totally illogical – thoughts of Alzheimer’s raced through my mind. The analytical brain I prided myself on seemed to have gone on vacation. That evening, Abby slept for 14 hours straight; and when she woke up next morning, she had no idea where she was; and no recollection of being taken to the hospital. The neurologist examined her and ordered an MRI and an EEG. The MRI was normal, but the EEG showed some chemical imbalance in her brain. I brought her home two days ago and, thankfully, her memory seems to be normal again.

And what triggered off this nightmare? One simple antibiotic our doctor had prescribed for her cold and fever. Later tests showed that the sodium levels in her body were very low; and the doctor said this was the main cause, but the antibiotic acted as a catalyst. Now Abby is going through the ‘if only I hadn’t taken the pill’ stage. My logical mind tells me that there was no way we could have foreseen this calamity but, at some deep emotional level, I find myself agreeing with her.

Now that Abby seems to be on the mend – and my brain is more or less functioning normally again – I am trying to analyze my thought processes; and my gut reactions. Do emotions completely take over one’s brain in times of crisis and mental anguish? Is it some primeval instinct we have no control over? Can a highly intelligent human being be so easily reduced to an impotent, blubbering wreck at the sight of a loved one in distress? I haven’t come up with any answers yet.

The other fallout of this awful incident is spiritual; and I am faring slightly better at this. I am not a regular churchgoer by any means, but I believe I have a pretty good communion with God. I also believe that one’s relationship with God is a two way street. I secretly deride those who remember their Maker only in times of trouble; and I have never fallen into that trap. I pray every day; in good times and bad. So naturally, my gut reaction when this happened was to rail at Him and ask why He was doing this. It was only after I calmed down that I realized He was still watching over us.

For example, I am a very sound sleeper and, normally, Abby’s soft moaning would not have woken me but, this time it did. I shudder to think what would have happened, had I not discovered her unconscious state till the morning. It still makes me break out in a cold sweat. Then again, although the offending pill was the immediate culprit, in a way, it served a purpose too. If it had not been for this episode, Abby’s sodium levels would not have diagnosed and they would have continued to drop – possibly resulting in more brain damage. Realizing this does not in any way lessen my trauma, but it does bring me a measure of peace.

I would like to end with a note of caution to all those health freaks out there. The direct cause of Abby’s illness is that she deliberately avoided eating salt; because the health magazines said it was not good for you. This was compounded by her not eating eggs or butter, because the pundits declared it would raise cholesterol levels. She was constantly on my case for all the junk food I enjoy – and I guess that is not going to stop. However, if she had stuck to a normal diet, she would have probably been spared all the scare and aggravation. The moral of this tale is that there are no universal health statistics that apply uniformly to everybody. Every individual has his or her own bodily needs; and it is safer to rely on one’s common sense than on what the ‘experts’ tell you.

Labels: Self Explore